Beltane 2013

Spent the night driving around delivering papers at the Country Club while blasting Celtic music. The thinning veil was heady and I couldn’t stop giggling. Came home and cleaned half my room, including taking down all my Christmas cards. Oops! Hope to finish cleaning in the next day or two as well as digging up a barn owl skull I have buried in the yard. I guess I’m a wee bit behind on my spring cleaning but the weather feels more like February most days rather than May. That’s my excuse! I also want to go hiking but I have almost nothing that fits. Which is a good thing since everything is to big, but I’ll need to make the time to go shopping at Target. It has been on my to-do list for months but I just haven’t gotten around to it. I started my period on the 30th. I think starting on a fertility festival is likely a sign I need to stay single for a while yet. I’ve been separated from my husband and living with my mom for the last year. It has been very challenging. But I keep going, just trying to get by day by day.

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Eclipse & New Moon

APTOPIX Ring Of Fire Eclipse

Hikers watch an annular eclipse from Papago Park in Phoenix on Sunday. (AP Photo/The Arizona Republic, Michael Chow)

Since I was able to watch the eclipse from here, I made a perfect little pinhole camera out of an old Christmas topper box to view it with. Throughout the viewing time I would go out front and see how it was progressing. It was fun cause the old man across the street had his telescope out in his front yard to view the eclipse with. Nice to know I’m not the only geek on the block!

During the eclipse I decided to make use of the twilight energies and went about with some workings. Although I was born and raised in this house, I am new to the neighborhood at this point. The energy of the place has changed dramatically, so I took the time to reintroduce myself to the genius loci. I live at the base of a 569 foot hill which is a part of a chain of ancient volcanic mountains, so I climbed the short hill and went to the spot I was called to go to. I sat and meditated and conversed with the spirit I found there and presented it with an offering. Continue reading

Supermoon 2012

The “supermoon” appears behind the Temple of Poseidon in Cape Sounion, south east of Athens, Greece, while tourists watch, on Saturday, May 5, 2012. Dimitri Messinis/AP Photo

I stood out last night under the perigee full moon and set out all my cleansed quartz crystals to charge.

I also cleansed all manner of jewelry and other stones, some of which came outside with me as well.

I toasted the gods, the ancestors, and the fair-folk and asked for a blessing for myself and others.

I also took the time to do a releasing spell. I wrote out my request on parchment and burned it by the light of the full moon.

As I stood there watching the incense waft, a very bright falling star shot across the moon (likely from the Eta Aquarids) which I took as a positive sign while the neighborhood barn owl circled silently above, over-shadowing me.

This morning I found one of its downy feathers in the backyard. Wildspeak has this to say about the barn owl.

Being prone to judging others based off first impressions, first impressions, occasional inflexibility, adapting to things in unexpected ways, being made into a villain by others, sometimes having to be the ‘bad guy,’ a possible connection to Ares, a close relationship to mice and rodent energies, an exceptional ability to hear the truth in all worlds.

Another New Year

So this is 2012.

Already a 6.8 magnitude earthquake in Japan. That doesn’t bode well in terms of omens.

2011 was a crap year for just about everybody, at least the 99% of us that are struggling to survive in this fucked up society. I don’t think this year is going to be any better, in fact I think it will get worse. Things always seem to need to get worse before they can get better. I am afraid to think of how much worse it could get. Our precious thread of normalcy is tenuous at best.

I spent New Year’s Eve at home alone with Tom. We watched a crappy movie and Star Trek Voyager and I had to wake him at midnight. He gave me a kiss and rolled over on the couch and went back to sleep. Underwhelming. I suppose I should be appreciative of what I do have, and I am. That doesn’t mean I don’t want more. And I do want more. So much more.

I feel the need to rip my body open and scream while emerging from some fleshy cocoon. I feel like running until my muscles burn and I am out of breath. I feel like just leaving this town, this state, this world. Just go. But I won’t. I can’t. There are too many things that hold me back. Responsibilities, people, physical objects, clutter. And finances, always finances.

But my brain is stuck in this loop of bullshit, trying to get “things” done that I can never get done. Trying endlessly for perfection. Even though I know none exists.

 

The Ghost of Summer Suns

Halloween is approaching, and this means that Arcturus, the star sparkling low in the west-northwest in twilight, is taking on its role as “the Ghost of Summer Suns.” What does this mean? For several days centered on October 29th every year, Arcturus occupies a special place in the sky above your local landscape. It closely marks the spot there where the Sun stood at exactly the same time (by your clock) during warm June and July — in broad daylight, of course! So, in the last days of October each year, you can think of Arcturus as the chilly Halloween ghost of the departed summer Sun.

via Sky and Telescope

Harvest Funeral

Winter’s shadow has come once again and with it comes the harvest season. I pause to give thanks, expressing gratitude for all that I have. In celebration I served homemade chili and cornbread with a chocolate cake for dessert. Upon the altar rests an offering to the spirits; handpicked apples from my next-door neighbors yard, a cornbread muffin drizzled with local honey, and a glass of blackberry brandy.

In addition to the harvest celebration, I completed the funeral for a little friend who blessed me on her path. I spoon-fed and sheltered her, but she was to become a victim of Colony Collapse. I honored her passing as it was the only thing I could do for her in the end. I offered to her a bowl of honey and fresh flowers, laid her body among rose petals and lavender buds, then scattered tobacco and mugwort over her. I will keep her with me, maybe in the future she will bless me once more as an ally.I give thanks for the gifts I have been given in my life, I also give thanks to the bees for their gifts to the world and feel sorrow as I also give thanks for their sacrifice. I send my prayers out to the bees this season, may they find strength and prosperity.

Picking the Bones

It was a Friday night in June, under a moonless night when my older brother got into a very bad accident. I was almost nine years old (seven weeks before my birthday), when my mom scooped me up in the middle of the night and dropped me off at my grandmother’s house so that she could go to the hospital. I have discussed this memory with my mom as I was sure that I must have had the flu as I had obviously been hallucinating, but she assured me that this was the only night I could be remembering and that I did not have a fever. What happened to me that night was purely spontaneous and not caused by any illness, and while stress was a factor (although she had not yet told me about my brother) my reaction was still very curious if my hallucinations were brought on merely from stress alone.

I remember arriving at my grandmother’s house in my pajamas in the middle of the night and being put to bed in the living room in a Murphy Bed. A couple of the family portraits in the living room started talking to me. It was very scary, and I tried to ignore them but they would not shut up. Suddenly my mother and brother were on a seesaw on the coffee table, and they joined in the conversation. Ignoring them didn’t work and I couldn’t sleep out of fear. Despite this, I got out of bed and slowly started walking towards my grandmother’s bedroom. I am not sure which was worse, the ghost conversations in the living room or the prolonged, twin-sighted journey through the hallway. Normal vision and normal reality over-lapped with trance vision so that I saw both a dirt path and the hallway at the same time. They occupied the same space.

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