In the far off future…

When our civilization has ended and another civilization is digging up our fossils and ancient relics, this is what they will think of Christmas…

That we decorate our homes and erect a sacred tree to our God to celebrate his birthday. He comes down from Heaven, located at the North Pole, to see if we have been bad or good. If we are good, he puts us on a list so that we may go to Heaven where we will become elves. If we are bad he will be displeased and set us on fire. God flies through the sky pulled by a host of magical animals and lands on our rooftops directed by blinking lights. He visits our houses to collect his birthday presents and in return leaves us milk and cookies, which are his blood and body, that we eat to remember his death. If this God is pleased with our tree, effigies, lights, and presents he will leave us his socks and a feast will be prepared to celebrate Jesus Claus’ birthday.

This is what happens when I am tired!

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